“When I’m worried and I can’t sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep, and I fall asleep counting my blessings.”
I’ve been freaking out for the past week or so. My depression has been at a high (low?) point, it’s hit me that I’m graduating in 11 days, I don’t have a job for after graduation yet, we move into our apartment in exactly three weeks, and other adult things. Mix in stress about the wedding that’s 81 days away, a fiancee that’s questioning why she came to college in the first place, and parents all around that are lacking in one thing or another… This whole “life” thing is a drag.
I’ve been planning in my head all the things I was going to rant and rave about here on tumblr. I was going to do a big long post listing all my worries, mostly to get them out there and probably at least partially looking for sympathy or support or a millionaire-tumblr-user taking pity on me or something. But I realized that none of that is productive (or likely in that millionaire case), and it’s certainly not good for my mental health.
So, I decided to do something a little different. Rather than focusing on what I’m worried about, I’m going to think about the things I do have, things I’m extremely lucky to have.
- A fiancee that is completely in love with me.
- A fiancee I’m completely in love with.
- Friends and family that care about me.
- Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.
- A working computer, a couple gaming systems, games that entertain me, and movies to watch — in short, free entertainment.
- Goals, and a vague plan of how to get there (at least for some of them).
- A relatively well-functioning body.
- An apartment that will have electricity.
- More money in the bank than most of our peers — not that I’m competing, I’m just saying we have money saved up for emergencies and the wedding.
- Enough music and books that I can fix or alleviate most of my emotional problems.
Obviously there are more than 10 blessings that I have, but these are just the first that come to mind. I think they’re pretty darn good, and I’m going to be a lot more thankful for them from now on. A huge part of the world doesn’t have these things, and I’m really lucky in that regard.
I hope this post might help some other people that are feeling down or stressed or whatever. I know it’s not easy to get out of a funk when you’re in one, and it’s even harder to get out of that horribly depressed, “omg why am I even aliiiive?” state, but maybe this idea — old as it is — can help. Just think of things you do have.
“If you’re worried and you can’t sleep, just count your blessings instead of sheep, and you’ll fall asleep counting your blessings.” - Bing Crosby